Social-emotional learning: A term both celebrated and vilified in various circles and communities in recent years.

What is it and is it really all that new? Education has a way of re-cycling terms. We have used terms in the past like Life Skills, Social Skills, Emotional Intelligence, or teaching 21^st Century Skills… “Social-emotional learning” is merely a descriptive term that focuses on teaching students the skills they need to interact with others, manage their emotions, problem-solve difficult situations, and set and work toward goals… which is something all healthy human beings need to learn to do and something teachers have always helped with. During a school day, there are many interactions or ‘teachable moments’, and the adult who is there is usually in the best position to guide a child in the vast majority of those moments.

What is new, is the formalization and funding of programming in K-12 education as research has underscored its importance to both learning and overall life outcomes. (Research Brief) Evidence for Social and Emotional Learning in Schools (ed.gov) What is also new is the breakdown (for too many students) of some of the natural teachers of socialization such as impromptu and unsupervised play between siblings, cousins, and neighbors in families and communities along with a dramatic increase in technology usage without common sense regulations to ensure these powerful new technologies enhance our lives rather than make us miserable. 

Social-emotional learning is something parents and educators should work together on and to do that, they need… social-emotional learning: the ability to genuinely listen to each other and seek programming that reflects the fundamental shared values of their community. We want our children to learn how to share, take responsibility, get their work done, disagree respectfully, play fairly and safely, manage their emotions, etc. We have differences, of course, but we always have, and working through differences can strengthen relationships when the people involved listen to understand, genuinely ‘will the good’ of the other, and remain committed to working from common ground in a relationship.

At Boys Town, we have been teaching social skills formally and prescriptively for over 50 years (with the Boys Town Model®) and less prescriptively since our founding over 100 years ago. We have welcomed children from all backgrounds, races, creeds, etc., and taught them how to get along with each other, even (and especially) when someone is different from them in backgrounds, experiences, personalities, methods of coping with difficulties, etc. We have welcomed angry, hopeless, and lost children and taught them how to communicate with others and navigate the strong emotions they often struggle with. We have helped them develop goals, problem-solve significant challenges and barriers, and helped them see the potential in their lives. We kindle hope where it frequently didn’t exist before. We calm strong emotions so we can hear a child’s story, offer guidance, and teach skills and strategies. We partner with parents and navigate their thoughts and emotions as well so we can hear their stories, understand their values, and offer resources, strategies, and support that strengthen their family and by extension, their community. It is both challenging and worthy work.

How do we do it? We begin by seeing the essential dignity and value of each child and we work hard every day to give each child a future filled with hope. We value the essential role of parents and family in the life of a child, even when a family has challenges or is in crisis. We recognize life, at every stage, is easier to navigate with an ability to build meaningful relationships, healthily manage emotions and stress, develop and work toward goals, and problem-solve challenges. 

Fundamentally, we are committed to strengthening the “teachable moment” with the best in evidence-based interactions and the development of aligned systems. We help adults better model and teach social skills, emotional regulation, goal setting, and problem-solving within the school day through purposeful interactions or ‘teachable moments’ and encourage adults to prioritize proactive moments over-reactive moments since proactive moments are quicker and easier to manage. We leverage the power of praise and take a teaching approach to replacing inappropriate behaviors. We share the evidence on what helps children learn appropriate behavior and strategies faster and we help school leaders align policies and procedures to better support behavioral development and achieve more rapid and sustainable growth. Behavior can be a source of great frustration and disruption for educators, students, and parents when it isn’t managed effectively. Our goal is to help educators learn to work ‘smarter’ to minimize those disruptions and frustrations and set both educators and students up for greater success.

And that is Social-Emotional Learning… or Life Skills.

I suggest we each remain committed to the challenging, yet deeply satisfying work of helping children grow both academically and behaviorally.

If you have additional questions, please ask one of our experts!